As I recently mentioned – my mum, my sister and my partner will be in the room with me during my labour. My sister Maddi was in there last time. She knows the drill. My partner Pat was in there last time. He too, knows the drill.
(Maddi’s part being she’s the one who helps me, wipes my face, distracts me from contractions, Pat’s part being giving me his hand and being wise enough to say nothing when I almost break his fingers).
My mum will be there this time too. Now don’t get me wrong. My mum is a wonderful woman. I’ve always been able to talk to her about anything. I have always been very honest with her. Which is why I’m making her birthing unit flash cards.
You see – she’s had five children. Yes, FIVE. So she’s a bit of a veteran of childbirth. She also has a tendency to not think before she speaks. So to help her out. And me, I have created:
Things You Can’t Say To Me (will get you kicked out)
- Oh stop complaining, I’ve done it five times
- You’re hurting me
- you got it in there, you gotta get it out
- you’ve done it before
- it’s not that bad.
- you don’t need the drugs
- shut up and push
- can I watch her head come out?
Things you CAN say to me
- you are doing wonderfully
- I am so proud of you
- not long now
- what do you need?
Luckily, my mum has a great sense of humour and thinks these are hilarious.
What were your birthing unit rules?