I’m scared of getting old.

*PHOTO_CREDITS which, interestingly enough, is a blog about how old ladies rock*

I’m not even going to lie. It terrifies me. But not because I’m scared of getting sick and brittle and eventually dying (those things do scare me, but they aren’t the point of this blog).

What absolutely terrifies me is…

  • Forgetting to use my indicator at round-a-bouts. Actually forgetting to use my indicator period. It seems like as soon as people hit the over 60-ish age bracket, they forget how to use half of the accessories in the car. I’m not sure, perhaps it’s because they can’t remember where they placed the darn stick thing that turns the blinkers on.
  • Getting that old people smell. Sort of like a walking op shop. I’m sure they don’t realise it and I don’t even know how they do it. But it always makes me feel a little sad when I smell that smell. It makes me think maybe they are all alone and have no one to help them put camphor laurel balls in their clothes drawers.
  • Going grey. To be honest, I might be already. I don’t know, I haven’t seen my natural hair colour in a little while. But really, I’m not worried about grey on my head. What about if my underarm hairs go grey? Or worse,the hair on my vagina?
  • Telling the same stories over and over again. People just don’t listen the way they should once they’ve heard the story a couple of times and mostly, the person telling you the story doesn’t remember they’ve told you!
  • Losing my teeth. I guess there is always the option of false teeth, but I’d be scared of those too. My grandad had them and he always smiled as if he was wearing one of those things they make the little girls wear in Toddlers and Tiaras.
  • Getting up too early. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but old people think 7am i a perfectly acceptable hour to drop around for a cup of tea (so do children, for that matter). And it’s never polite to tell a guest that they are f***ing insane.
  • Not understanding technology. I love my phone – I can play eucre on it. I love my little lappy. I love my twitter and my email and all those things. But what happens when they become obsolete? When they’re not efficient anymore? When they’re not cool anymore?
  • Giving away my collections. My Grandnanna always tried to give you something she had collected whenever you were leaving her house. I don’t want to be like that, I (will) have worked hard for my collection and everyone be damned. They can start their own!

This list is all lighthearted. I have grandparents and I love them. I was lucky enough to know both my great grandparents, especially my Grandnanna and I miss her dearly. I know she would giggle along with this post, so if she wouldn’t be offended, you can’t be either.

8 thoughts on “OldAgeAPhobia

  1. I am terrified of getting old too. I once worked in a respite center for the elderly and disabled and we took them to Maccas for lunch. There was this one lady who was steadily losing her memory and I remember so vividly her picking up a chicken nugget with complete confusion and when told to dunk it in her sauce and eat it she was mortified. And that happened with EVERY. Single. Nugget. Seriously. In that moment I suddenly developed a complete phobia.

    I still have both sets of grandparents whom I love dearly but far out old age is scary…

  2. hah! You play Eucre, you’re already old.

    I love the photo you’ve used. I cannot wait to get old enough to wear a tiara and look that cute.
    I used to work in a rest home. I don’t want to get that kind of old.
    But yeah, what is it with telling the same shitty story a billion times? My dad does it and he’s only 55

    • My grandad had alcohol induced memory loss… You can imagine how bad his story telling was. Although we did get birthday presents at random times throughout the year though!

  3. PMSL, yes your muff will go grey… I used to wax them for a living and there is such a thing as premature greying in that area too.

    I worry about getting old enough to think Today Tonight and A Current Affair are actually worth watching and have interesting, well researched segments…

    • Nooooooo! Not a grey muff! Perhaps I’ll go for lazer hair removal to prevent it happing. Although I’m a bit torn. What if I do that and I want to rep the 70’s one day?

      And great point about a current affair. Don’t forget Ray Hadley and Alan Jones

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