You are three months today.
I hope I am always honest with you. So, I will be honest with you now, too. I took you to the hospital the other day. I said to the Doctor “I just can’t take it anymore.” I feel like a bad mum in saying that, but I know I’m a good mum because I have the courage to admit that. I had to get out of the house with you that night. I needed someone else to see how you scream. How in pain you are. I can’t take it anymore because you are hurting and I can’t fix it.
We’ve been to the doctor for you twice now. Your GP hasn’t done a thing to help. Actually, I lie. He printed out an information sheet on reflux in bottle fed babies for you.
Just because you scream and cry all the time doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I do. When you are not screaming you have a smile like the sunrise. It is breathtaking. You have started burbling and I think you have been trying to giggle. You talk to yourself mostly in a mirror. You love watching your big brother and playing Fallout with your daddy.
I love you baby. I’m sorry I haven’t gotten you all fixed up yet, but I’m working on it.