None of your business.

There are a few questions I get asked often about my family, so I thought I’d just put it out there for everyone to see.

Do they both have the same father? Yes. They do. Not that it would change my capacity to parent well if they didn’t.

Are you still with their father? Yes. I am. And not just because we have young children either. Because I love him – imagine that.

Were they planned? We didn’t plan the exact night on which we would fall pregnant, no. Weren’t trying, but we weren’t not trying. Does that mean I love them any less? No.

Are you feeding her yourself? I’m not sure how my boobs are any of your business, but yes – I am lactating.

Is he a boy? Yes. Just because he has (gorgeous, curly) long hair and nail polish on his toes doesn’t remove his penis.

Gosh she’s little. Was she premmie? She was born smack bang 37 weeks. I’m just lucky and have little babies. It’s great, I get more bang for my buck with clothes.

And one I’ve only been asked once:

Is Pat really the father?
You know, I’m not sure. He’s the one out of the three possible choices that earned the most though, so I told him he is.

For the record, yes, Pat IS the father to both my children. But God, it was worth saying that to the person who asked.
And then asking her if her husband was the father when they fell pregnant.
Priceless.

What questions do you get asked and you feel like saying “Mind you’re own effing business!” ?

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8 thoughts on “None of your business.

  1. I get…

    Are they ALL yours? Yes, yes they are… Then I do a head count, 1, 2, 3, 4. Stop. Gasp – ‘Crap! i left the twins in the car again!’

    Do they all have the same father? (we have three varieties of brunette and one red head) ‘Yes, they all have the same father, but they have five different mums…’

    Are they ALL boys? ‘What? [horrified look] No, they’re all girls!’

  2. How come no one asks me these things???!!! Maybe because I’m at home most of the time?

    Mama used to say my sisters and I had three diff fathers. When people asked her she’d say she was a bit of a sailor whore and slept with a caucasian, an african american and then an asian hahahaha.

  3. Some people have a lot of front don’t they…

    When my twins were teeny tiny (and yes they were prem) I used to get stopped by strangers and asked all kinds of crazy things…. I am usually to polite to make a smart comment but one day I’d had enough, I was tired and cranky and some idiot asked me …

    “Are they natural?”

    and I replied…

    “Well… they used to be, but we had them dipped in plastic so they’d be easier to keep clean”

    and kept walking… but I did turn round just to check out the look on this middle aged woman’s face!

  4. Haha, that’s ridiculous. Due to the fact that I’m a guy, I don’t get asked all the same questions but I can relate. My sons hair and gender has become the most recent question asked. Eh, oh well. Great post.

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