Confession – Why we’re not having more children.

I could tell you that we just can’t afford it (which we can’t).

I could tell you that we like having two of us and two of them, there’s enough hands to go around (we do).

I can tell you that we have one of each, we’re lucky and we don’t need any more (we are).

 

OR

 

I could tell you about my ridiculous fear that I will need a ceasarian.

That I will be cut open.

That something will go terribly wrong.

That I will die.

Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

Do you know what makes it sound even more silly?

I have had two GREAT natural labours. 3 1/2 hours and 1 hour 47 minutes. First one – 2 stitches. Second one – no stitches.

I actually even enjoyed labour. I never screamed. I never swore.

There is nothing to indicate that I would ever EVER have to have a ceasarian.

Not to mention that people have them every. friggen. day.

People ELECT to have them for god sakes.

 

I’m not entirely sure where this fear comes from. It saddens me some because it indicates that I’m not confident in my body’s ability to successfully birth a child. Regardless of the fact I have done it twice before.

I think it partly stems from my anxeity about my health. I have blood pressure issues, which in both pregnancies turned into pre-eclampsia. Not seriously a big issue, it never got to that stage. But enough to make me worry. Which makes me worry about my health. Which makes me worry about being able to look after my kids well. Which makes me worry about IF I had another one, if anything would go wrong. Which makes me worry about a ceasarian.

 

And just to prove to you that I’m crazy, I frequently worry that I have some type of cancer, too.

 

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10 thoughts on “Confession – Why we’re not having more children.

  1. It’s funny what we worry about isn’t it?
    I only have one, a 18 month old little girl. I’m scared to have another because I just don’t think I could cope. I barely feel like I’m keeping on top of things with just one. And then I feel guilty because that’s just pathetic.
    Don’t even get me started on the labour. I had a 25hour labour with Lily and a 2nd degree tear. I’d opt for a c-section if the thought of someone cutting me open didn’t completely freak me out!

  2. I have four and it took until number four to really trust and know that my body was going to do it. I planned for a natural birth every time (and got one, (except for my 1st but that was not my body’s fault). It wasn’t until I was planning the homebirth of number 4 that I felt to my core that my body would take care of it. I get what you’re saying about BP though. My body would be broken for other reasons if we kept going so we’ve had to stop. Probably a good thing, I mean how many babies would we end up with otherwise?! Although, you know preeclampsia is less likely the more pregnancies you have with the same partner as your body doesn’t freak out and yell “foreign DNA!”. It’s seen that DNA before. Just saying. Really though, it sounds like a decision you’re ok with for now, maybe years down the track you’ll feel differently.

  3. None of it sounds crazy to me. I lost 3 litres of blood in my second birth, 2 in my first. I had long, incredibly painful back labours with both. I think if I did accidentally fall pregnant again I’d elect a caesarean just so as not to go through that again. But I hate the idea of that too.

    Plus I like having 2. And I must admit to enjoying the freedom as they get older! Babies are adorable-but i like handing them back now πŸ˜‰

  4. I’ve had a c-section and I’m terrified it will happen again. My first (only) was born 10 weeks early and through emergency surgery. I never ever ever want to go through that again. It’s the reason we’ve waited this long to get pregnant again. I couldn’t fathom going through it, or the NICU experience, again.

    While I’m not overly concerned with my health…I am the opposite of confident in my body’s ability to do this correctly. I feel your pain ((Hugs))

  5. Totally NOT silly at all. We all have our weird fears when it comes to childbirth.

    I’ve had 3 natural labours, 1 emergency c/s and 1 elective c/s. I would strive for a natural again in a heartbeat [if i could have ore kids]. An elective c/s isn’t the easy way, trust me – I just said “trust me”… one thing I fully believe is, never believe a person that says “trust me”. That doesn’t apply right now because I’m telling the truth!!!!

    If that’s what’s holding you back TALK TO SOMEONE! if deep down you would like another TALK TO SOMEONE!

    Apart from that. Big fat squishy hugs πŸ™‚

  6. A fear, unfounded or not, is a valid reason for such a major thing. Anyone who waves off labour in any form as being a breeze or easy is someone I avoid with a very wide berth (‘scuse the word-play). I’ve had two rather dramatic deliveries from fourteen pregnancies and have just one child at home to show for all my body’s efforts.

    I fully respect anyone who has reservations about birth. You have to know what your limitations are. If you felt compelled to have another child, I am sure you would seek a way to embrace this fear and work through it. For now, it is an effective protection mechanism for you. xx I totally get that.

  7. I’ve had two pregnancies and two caesarians (one elective – breech and one emergency – labour did not progress). I don’t even know what labour is like.I know I was scared of it before we realised I had to have a Caesarian. Then I was scared of that since I never had surgery before. If I got pregnant again, I’d be nervous of a natural birth but by the same token, I wouldn’t eagerly want a caesar. However, after two of them, my OB said I’d have to have a third to minimise risk of rupture with a VBAC even though I recovered well from both ops. The main reason we’re not considering anymore, however, isn’t due to any of that but more about risk of deformities due to my age.

  8. Whenever somebody or perhaps a business decides that success has become attained, progress stops.
    Concept of Statistics: The science of producing unreliable facts from reliable figures.

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