Bisexuality – means always missing out on something

I’ve wanted to write this for a while now because I think it’s something not a lot of people understand.

A lot of people think that bisexuality is easy. That it means we have the pick of the feild. The best of both worlds. That we’re always going to have someone to go home with. But that’s not it at all.

I was worried about writing this, so I need to add a disclaimer. In no way are tattoodaddy and I having problems or anything like that. This is more because I KNOW there has to be others out there feeling the same.

I love tattoodaddy. I love his strong arms. I love his broad shoulders. I love feeling his hands on my stomach when he hugs me in the middle of the night. I love his chest and how right it feels to have my head resting on it.


I miss dainty hands. I miss gentle curves. I miss soft lips. I miss quiet giggles. I miss femininity in my partner as well.

Bisexuality isn’t having it all. Bisexuality is ALWAYS missing something. Because there are two VERY  different sets of traits you are attracted to. It’s impossible to have all the traits in one person, because they are two sets for two genders.

I’m not thinking about this because I’m getting restless or anything. More I’m thinking this because I’m very certain tattoodaddy and I will be together for a very long time,so I’m missing the things that I might’ve had, had I not found him – I guess much like everyone has a “what if…” be it travel, another person etc. I just have more stuff to throw in the mix.

I constantly have to search for my own motivations to befriend someone of the same sex. Because I know tattoodaddy is my soul mate of the males, but what if I’m subconsiously searching for the female equivelant? Not that I’m saying it can’t be purely platonic but it worries me. Not because I don’t trust myself, but because it’s not fair to put all my what if’s together.

I’m not even sure if this really makes sense.

BUT it has been on my mind for a while lately and I have felt that I really needed to say it.

So there you go. My definition of bisexuality – having it all and still missing something.


13 thoughts on “Bisexuality – means always missing out on something

  1. Interesting post. I’ll admit I’ve always been curious about the same sex but have never pursued it. I think it will just stay as a fantasy. 🙂

    I married my 4th boyfriend, my first sexual partner. I think the thing I feel I’m missing out on is that “new relationship” feeling. I sometimes lament that I will never get to feel that again. But at the same time Mr Monkey is all I need. 🙂

  2. What a fantastically open and deeply honest post. Thanks for sharing it, I so love hearing people’s stories, and that is a perspective I’d never have considered had you not put it here, and so eloquently.

  3. It’s complicated but I would rather be bisexual. It’s not so much that you miss out, just that you have to balance two sets of opposite attractions.

    One soul mate is hard enough to find. It’s a double edged sword being bisexual on both parts. Hypothetically in the sense that if you did find a true soulmate in lesbian woman, and she knew you were hers too, she couldn’t find another soulmate to potentially be with as a partner

  4. Word, sister! I struggled so hard with this when I was engaged, and I cam to the same kinds of conclusions. It’s really tough though.

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