Three months a go I gave tattoodaddy an ultimatum.
I said “Quit smoking by Christmas, or I’m leaving and taking the kids with me.”
Now, I’ve been told by friends this is harsh. Too hard. Which I don’t think it is.
You see, he’s been planning to quit for over three years.
First, he was going to quit when we fell pregnant with Dexter (now 28 months). Then, he would have quite by the time I was 4 months pregnant. Then, by the time he was born. And various other times in there as well.
So he’s had lots of chances. Lots of time to quit.
I told him that I wasn’t going to sit around and wait for him to suddenly die. I’m not going to sit around and wait for him to slowly die either. I’m not waiting to have to look after him and I’m certainly not putting our children through it.
Now, I’m not being epically harsh – if he quits not and then later on gets something related to smoking, of course I’ll look after him. I love him and he took the steps to minimise the chance of something happening to him.
He was smoking Christmas day. I was of course upset because I had reminded him 3 days before of it. But I assumed that maybe the terms got a little mixed up and he took it as Christmas day was the last acceptable day. Fine.
Today, we went over to my sister’s house. Heather (my sister) and I were bathing Dex and sitting with Lola. I went outside to see what TD and Heather’s boyfriend were doing. TD was having a cigarette. Not only that, he tried to hide it.
Now to me, trying to hide it implies you KNOW you shouldn’t be doing it.
If you know you shouldn’t be doing it, don’t!
I’m not a total bitch. I know it’s hard to quit. I’ve done it twice. Once, while I was pregnant with Dex and then I smoked one or two a day from him being about 6 weeks – 3 months. But I stopped. And I did it without patches or anything.
He has patches. He’s seen a doctor about a management plan. He has every opportunity to quit.
So now what?
How many chances does someone get?
I remember reading somewhere “You can only make a mistake once – after that, it’s a choice.” Which rings very true here.
So do I start looking for houses?
What would you do?