*I am pretty devestated right now. I had a beautiful polaroid of tattoodaddy and I that I wanted to share today but I can’t find it.*
When we were first together, tattoodaddy asked me if I needed him. I said that I don’t think anyone ever really NEEDS someone. He got upset and took it as me avoiding telling him how much I loved him.
He took it as he loved me more than I loved him.
I never set that straight.
While I feel I need to amend my previsous statement, I still stand by it.
I Don’t think anyone ever really needs that someone special.
I think we do need people in our lives. We are pack animals.
We need people around us for the sad and happy. For company and for support.
However, I think the difference in the someone special is the wanting.
I don’t really need tattoodaddy to come back. Obviously I can cope on my own. My children are fed, my house is clean and my bills are paid.
But I want him to come back.
I want someone to cook for.
I want someone to look nice for.
I want someone pulling me close in the middle of the night.
I want someone kissing my neck.
I want that someone to be him.
I fell into the trap of needing before.
I think needing that someone to come home every day and justify you being there can only be detrimental.
And that’s where I was.
I forgot who I was and what I believed in.
I stopped believing in myself.
And I believe I lost the me he fell in love with.
But here I am.
Still here, just hidden.