I just don’t know anymore.
I feel like the reason that I have to move on with my life
Is the same reason that I am scared too.
What comes next?
Seriously, can anyone tell me?
Do people ever fall back in love with each other?
Is it possible to convince someone they were wrong?
You never fell out of love.
How long do I wait?
How long is long enough?
Is it just space and time?
Like everything… Just space and time?
Is there really space if we’re both still here?
Just still here because you want, or because there’s nowhere else to be?
I don’t want to be the last resort.
I don’t want to be out of guilt.
I don’t want to be out of obligation or duty.
I don’t want to be because you *should*
I want to be because of love.
Will I never not be “on guard” again?
Will I never worry that I’m going to get my heart broken again?
Where is it all going?
What is the point?
No, I don’t think I should be harder because why potentially drive someone away?
I don’t have the heart to be harder.
Is pretending to not feel anything a self coping mechanism?
Is it more damaging than beneficial?
It is all so close yet so, so far.
And all I want is to be wanted and loved.
I never thought it was more complicated than that.
Obviously I am naive.
Do you miss it?
What are you thinking?
Are you still awake too?
Does it hurt you too?
Are you really ok?
Say something other than ok. Please, just give me something.
Just cuddle me.
YOU reach out.
I don’t want to always be reaching.
This is why I can’t sleep at night.
These aren’t questions that I expect to have answered.
They are, however, questions that I need to let go of in order to hopefully get a full night sleep.