My Body Makes Noises

My bodies makes noises…
Does yours?

You know, the kind where you bend over in the supermarket and you hear a little “ugggummphhh” and you look around, embarrassed making sure no one else heard you? Yeah, that.
And no, I don’t mean I fart without realising it’s coming.

Let me just clarify. I am not old.
I am very un-old.
I am a god-damn sprite compared to some.
24 years young thankyouverymuch.

And yet, when I bend over to pick something heavy up, I involuntarily moan/groan/sigh.

And sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it!

It came to my attention today when I was at Aldi (because lets face it, it’s cheap and I can buy fucking SKI GEAR with my groceries) and I’m packing the conveyor belt when I heard a little “ummphh”
At this point I feel I need to tell you that I *am* exhausted and a little ill
So I’m wondering what the noise is.
I reach in to pick up a box of Powergrain and I hear it again.
What the hell?
I look around, there is an old guy behind me just smiling to himself.
Reach in again for my bulk mince and the noise happens once more.


When did I get so old that I started groaning involuntarily?!
No wonder old mate was smiling to himself, I sounded like I was quietly faking a slow orgasm!

I very self consciously went through the checkout and wheeled everything out to the car so I could put it in the bags I brought but forgot to take inside – like always – stopped concentrating for a minute and notice I’m doing it AGAIN!

I’m not the only one this happens to, right?
It doesn’t mean I’m old, right?!
It just means I need a good night’s sleep, RIGHT?!


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