My bodies makes noises…
You know, the kind where you bend over in the supermarket and you hear a little “ugggummphhh” and you look around, embarrassed making sure no one else heard you? Yeah, that.
And no, I don’t mean I fart without realising it’s coming.
Let me just clarify. I am not old.
I am very un-old.
I am a god-damn sprite compared to some.
24 years young thankyouverymuch.
And yet, when I bend over to pick something heavy up, I involuntarily moan/groan/sigh.
LIKE AN OLD LADY!
And sometimes I don’t even realise I’m doing it!
It came to my attention today when I was at Aldi (because lets face it, it’s cheap and I can buy fucking SKI GEAR with my groceries) and I’m packing the conveyor belt when I heard a little “ummphh”
At this point I feel I need to tell you that I *am* exhausted and a little ill
So I’m wondering what the noise is.
I reach in to pick up a box of Powergrain and I hear it again.
What the hell?
I look around, there is an old guy behind me just smiling to himself.
Reach in again for my bulk mince and the noise happens once more.
HOLYFUCKINGSHIT IT’S ME!
When did I get so old that I started groaning involuntarily?!
No wonder old mate was smiling to himself, I sounded like I was quietly faking a slow orgasm!
I very self consciously went through the checkout and wheeled everything out to the car so I could put it in the bags I brought but forgot to take inside – like always – stopped concentrating for a minute and notice I’m doing it AGAIN!
I’m not the only one this happens to, right?
It doesn’t mean I’m old, right?!
It just means I need a good night’s sleep, RIGHT?!