I didn’t go. If I had, I would have worn this:
With these babies:
But I didn’t go.
Because if I go to the races, I want something classy and sophisticated. And I’m sorry Coffs Harbour, but when your races are declared a resounding success because “The birds were singing, the sun was shining and most people kept their shoes on all day!”
I just don’t think you’d appreciate my pretty shoes and my amazing hat.
From my experience at the races, it ends up being a show of boobs falling out of low-cut dresses on girls who are too drunk to walk in their heels (but apparently yesterday most kept them on anyway!) and also too drunk to realise they are airing their nipples.
It’s just not fun. At 24, I think I’m getting old.
I just want to have a bunch of female friends who would also like to get glammed up and drink Champagne and feel fancy occasionally.
I do have the female friends, but parenting duties rarely allow us to go out somewhere flash. And the rest of the time, funds won’t allow it.
But tonight I AM going out with my friend Kira.
And I will buy tickets in the meat raffle.
And wear my amazing leopard print shoes that I struggle to walk in without even being drunk (And they will stay on!)
And I will wear red lipstick.
And I will not do duckface, not even for giggles because I’m sure she will pay me out a buttload.
I’m in for a good night.
What about you?