Infant Loss – a Sibling

Sometimes I feel I don’t have the right to share in days of remembrance for infant loss and stillbirth.

I have never lost an infant, a newborn, a pregnancy.
And yet, I feel the loss, although differently, just as keenly.

I tear when I see uncles playing with their nephews.
People talking of brother’s getting engaged.
About their sister in law being pregnant.

These are things I will never have.

Tonight, mamas who have lost a child, hug the ones you have not only because you are so lucky to have them, but also because it’s a hug they are missing from the one who would have been a best friend.

My little brother is 21 this coming February and even that many years never empties the ache.

Love to my Mum, my Dad. My aunties and uncles. All my family who were robbed when my brother died of knowing the beautiful little boy with the curly hair and smiling eyes.

Love to all the other mamas and daddys. The aunties and uncles, nannas and grandads who were also robbed.

Having forever to learn your child, know your child, is too short a time. To have them gone after 10 months, or even sooner is one of the worst things I can think of.

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