So Much I’m Scared Of

So, as you know, I’m opening a business.
And do you know what? It fucking terrifies me.

I’ve been doing calculations – profit and loss – all those fun things you do when you are doing a course for funding for your business.
And I’ve been cautious. Everything I’ve thought I could sell, I’ve halved that number and that is what I’ve predicted (You get “in trouble” for falling belong 75% of your predicted sales).
I BELIEVE it’s a realistic number. I do.
But it still scares me.

Based on these numbers, I will work 6 days a week for a whole year, to have $27,000 in my bank account by the end of it.
That’s not a great deal of money for that amount of work.
Part of me is asking, why don’t I just work for someone else?
Then it won’t be my problem. I will just have to leave work at work at the end of the day. I’ll get paid. I’ll make friends. I’ll have a credibility with the banks that owning a small business doesn’t give you.
What if I fail?
What if I throw in all this effort and money – and it doesn’t work?

And then, on the other hand – what if it DOES work?
What if I achieve the amount I initially predicted?
what if I double that amount again?
My business is so successful I have suppliers calling me?
What if… What if I can never leave it?

How ridiculous is it, to be afraid of succeeding. Of being successful. But once that happens – everything is a representation o f my business. My brand. There can be no meltdowns in public (both me or the kids!). I will have to be nice to everyone. Remember names.
Successfulness limits anonimity to the point of removing it.

And that scares me.
But I’m not going to let that stop me.
I’m doing this for the right reasons.
Not the money.
For the passion. For the fun. For the people that need it.

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2 thoughts on “So Much I’m Scared Of

  1. I’d love to do that. I’m also scared. I have too many responsibilities, well that’s what I think anyway. What if I do it and I can’t afford to pay for shit? I was told to have X amount saved up first so that if shit does indeed go south, I’d be covered for a couple of months. That initial saving would take me forever. I’ll get here, one day. I have plans. I’m scared by if the opportunity pops up, imma jump in head first. Respect, you have (figurative) balls! Good luck!

  2. Pingback: Work Hard. Play Hard. Live Hard. « tattoomummy

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