I went in to the bedroom after one such episode and tattoodaddy is just laying on the bed, looking blankly.
I feel for him. He doesn’t really have any Dad friends to hang out with. To have a vent too. I know this stage will pass. I know that children, just like adults have shitty days for no particular reason.
He doesn’t get to vent to someone and have them say “OHMYGOD MINE TOO. I was ready to leave them in the carpark and head straight to the bottle shop”
Because let’s face it, everyone has thought this at one point.
And so I tell him;
You’re not a shit parent if some days, you just want to walk away from it all.
It doesn’t make you a shit parent if you wonder if you are the right person for this.
It doesn’t make you a bad person if sometimes you think “why the hell did we ever do this?”
Do you know why it doesn’t make you a shit parent? Because it means you care enough to worry you’re not doing a good job. It means you care enough to worry that maybe someone else could have done a better one.
Because ultimately, we are both still here, still being parents even though sometimes (most times) it is fucking hard and it feels like you’re banging your head against a brick wall and there’s a moment when you see your kids playing together and you think SHIT maybe I got this RIGHT for once and then someone throws a block at someone’s head and there’s crying and yelling “I didn’t do it!” and you’re thinking again ohhhmmyyyygoooddddd when does it end?!
Wondering if you’re doing a good job, if you’re the right person for the job – doesn’t make you a shit parent. It means you’re a good one because you love your children enough and you care about them enough to worry they are not getting the absolute best start at life. And shit parents don’t worry about that.
We all need a break sometimes.
We need a break from them, they need a break from us.