How To Make Friends (As a Grownup)

Does anyone remember how fucking easy it was to make friends when you were little?
Play on the playground long enough and surely someone would come along who wanted to play mermaids with you or eat cupcakes or make mudpies or whatever the hell your little minds could come up with.

Those were the days. Sure enough, it’s tough being a kid. there is bitchiness and it is heartbreaking but usually short lived and even if you only have a few friends, a few friends is all you need.

Making friends as an adult is fucking hard.
It is even harder as a parent I am willing to bet.
and by friends, I mean proper friends. Friends who know what is going on in your life and at least some of your goals and hopes and dreams. Someone you can message in the middle of the night or drop in on unexpected.Someone around whom you can totally be yourself.
Not someone you only chat about your children with – that’s the tricky part. I have heaps of acquaintances who know what is going on in the lives of my children, but not me.

I figured out the trick though.

Be yourself.
Sounds corny right?
We have people over ever Saturday night for Magic the Gathering – people who we met through our store.
At first, it was strictly business. People who have nowhere to play, won’t buy things to play with.
For some people it we will always remain strictly business because like it or not, I’m a little awkward, I have a strange sense of humour and I probably swear too much.
There are those, though who have responded in kind with the same sense of humour, or one I can relate too, those who find my awkwardness hilarious. Those who share the same interests. Those who like me for me,who I can be myself around.
For a couple of these people, it is wonderful that they children around the age of our children.
These people have become friends of tattoodaddy’s as well and for him to have friends who are full time fathers is really important.
I think sometimes he thinks our kids are so terribly behaved because he never sees other children in their own homes.

And so – I reached out. I said “Hey, we should catch up some time so we can meet your wife and children” And he thought that would be a great idea.
We went to their house and had a BBQ. Our children played together. We shared a mutual chuckle when children had dummy spits because we had been through it too.
And we made friends.

It was nowhere near as hard as I remember it being. Just took a little bit of putting myself outside my comfort zone.


4 thoughts on “How To Make Friends (As a Grownup)

  1. haha magic the gathering! thats so cool.
    I made a new friend just the other day through being invited to their house for magic the gathering. though we ended up playing this other crazy space card game that was super geeky!
    an I totally agree..
    The other day I counted I have like 80 facebook friends and 50~ of which are from high school…
    I realised how pathetic that is considering i’m 30 and I lived in sydney for 2 years and brisbane for 6 years…

    • Yay for making new friends!
      My family makes up most of my facebook – the extended cousins, aunties, uncles, great aunties and uncles…
      I’ve not kept in touch with most of the people from school (or kept them on facebook) so now when I catch up with one of them I am expected to know all the goss but don’t 😉

  2. I agree it is so much harder as an adult. One of the best things I have come to learn when making friends as a adult, especially with those who also have children, is that just because they do hinges differently or have a different opinion it doesn’t mean that they look down on me for my own ways.
    I’ve been in the game of making friends with kids similar ages who parent similarly and that doesn’t guarantee a beautiful friendship. In fact, those people are usually the first to turn on me without warning.
    My very best friends parent differently to me but they love me warts and all just as I love them. They ask about me and show genuine interest in me. And honestly, it’s really nice to have that. Don’t give up those people are out there and if you’re not someone’s bag of chips it’s nothing you haven’t done or have done wrong, keep being you and the right friends will find you. X

    • I think a really important thing is also not to get upset when they can’t catch up and vice versa – you both need to recognise that life gets fucking crazy sometimes and you may go a month without seeing your friends but the good ones are there always

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