This isn’t a woe is me I’m quitting blogging love me kind of post.
Don’t know what to write.
There is so much going on in my head and most of it is unacceptable to talk about in public let alone on the internet to
thousands hundreds tens of people.
Half the time I don’t even tell it to myself lest I actually stop and think for a minute and then it’s all too scary.
What I do know is it doesn’t feel like Christmas.
I miss my little sister and I feel extremely selfish for saying that because she is on the other side of the world having the time of her life and I know she’ll feel at least a little bit guilty she’s not here.
Life doesn’t feel quite right at the moment.
Something is missing and I don’t know what.
I don’t write right now because I have no fucking idea what I’m writing about.
I’m not making decorations or baking cakes or planning trips away with my family.
I’m not having joyous late nights of hot chocolate and movies.
I am having a shitfight of a time with a little boy who struggles so hard with his emotions and expressing himself. Who tries SO hard to please others and gets so upset when his lack of attention span means he hasn’t done that.