So Dex has SPD.
If you’re wondering what that is here is the long version : Sensory Processing Disorder explained
But basically what it means is that his brain doesn’t process the input in the “normal” way so appropriate reactions don’t always occur.
He has very poor body awareness.
He has very low self esteem.
He has some serious anxiety.
My beautiful, little four year old.
In a way it’s a relief because I knew something was going on.
And then it’s heartbreaking, thinking of all the things he will go through that he doesn’t understand.
Like when he comes home from daycare and tells me that he just wanted to love his friend today but his friend wanted to love someone else and didn’t play with him.
Or when someone picks on him for eating his favourite food. It is so much more than kids being kids.
know he’ll be fine.
I know he is smart and clever and all those things.
But you can’t help but think “That’s my little boy. What happened? Why does he have low self esteem? did I not praise him enough?”
And when you tell a family member and they tell you that they’re “not judging, but it’s probably because you like to play video games so you don’t get outside enough with him.”
I didn’t get a manager’s position at work that I applied for.
It’s just one of those times where everything feels like it’s piling up.