Up Until Now

Up until this point I have avoided that Dexter has Sensory Processing Disorder.
I got a diagnosis for him and it felt like a weight off my shoulders and I was relieved.

I was not a bad parent.
I did not have a “naughty” child.
I had a child with sensory processing disorder and that explained a shitload.

But then I put it out of my mind.
People around me treated it as if I was looking for an excuse for his behaviour.
Like I just accepted that by some standard he is “naughty” and I was just saying oh it’s okay, he has x.

I got told “You know you can just use a wooden spoon.”

You know what?It doesn’t fucking work.
None of it fucking works.

Not yelling. Not smacking. Not shaming.
Ashamed to say – I’ve tried it all.
Bargaining. Pleading. Punishing. Rewarding.

My kid is a seeker.
He will do things over and over again even though he’s been told not to because he seeks sensory input.
He will jump off things and run into things and hit things and yell – not to be mean or rude but because he likes the feeling of it.

And while yes – it is my “job” as a parent to help him find stimulation that meets his needs in a safe way, he will keep doing it.


Maybe next time you feel like being a judgy mc-judgy pants to that mum at the supermarket who is holding back the tears, consider how SHE feels. And maybe that he child is not “being naughty” or “needing a good smack”.


7 thoughts on “Up Until Now

  1. Even with neurotypical children there comes a time when it’s incredibly cathartic to scream “why don’t you take your wooden spoon and shove it up your arse” before opening the floodgates.
    Big mojo, darlin’. You have my sympathy because I can’t give you anything else! xox

  2. Oh that just sucks. I hate how people just keep putting it back to discipline like I said in a comment a few weeks back.

    My Jack is a seeker and an avoider. You can use professionals like an OT and just research on the web about teaching coping mechanisms. It can be a long and at times frustrating process. It is so good when they can start recognise they are seeking/avoiding and what to do to feel better.


  3. People are so judgemental it’s disgusting! They don’t know your story, nor what you go through at home! I would love to see them spend an hour let alone a day in the other person’s shoes! Maybe than they wont be quick to judge!

  4. People are total twats. I remember once I had my daughter in a stroller and she was obviously too big for it so that surely was a giveaway that something was amiss but no, two old ducks decided to stand behind me and speak in a very loud voice “look at the girl in the stroller, how ridiculous”. I just turned around and said well you buy us the wheelchair she needs, because we can’t afford it”. you could have parked a truck in their gaping gobs. It is so hard, sometimes we can be so strong and turn the other cheek but other times ….. stay strong xx

  5. Hey chickie, I wandered by and found this post, you poor bugger! Here’s the secret, you could have the most perfect, gifted and talented, well behaved, polite and over achieving kid and someone will still find something to criticize. It says something about THEIR character, not yours. All you can do is ignore their petty, small minded comments and hold fast. Your kid is great, even when he’s being a complete fucker. Normal is over-rated.

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