Up until this point I have avoided that Dexter has Sensory Processing Disorder.
I got a diagnosis for him and it felt like a weight off my shoulders and I was relieved.
I was not a bad parent.
I did not have a “naughty” child.
I had a child with sensory processing disorder and that explained a shitload.
But then I put it out of my mind.
People around me treated it as if I was looking for an excuse for his behaviour.
Like I just accepted that by some standard he is “naughty” and I was just saying oh it’s okay, he has x.
I got told “You know you can just use a wooden spoon.”
You know what?It doesn’t fucking work.
None of it fucking works.
Not yelling. Not smacking. Not shaming.
Ashamed to say – I’ve tried it all.
Bargaining. Pleading. Punishing. Rewarding.
My kid is a seeker.
He will do things over and over again even though he’s been told not to because he seeks sensory input.
He will jump off things and run into things and hit things and yell – not to be mean or rude but because he likes the feeling of it.
And while yes – it is my “job” as a parent to help him find stimulation that meets his needs in a safe way, he will keep doing it.
BECAUSE HE HAS SENSORY PROCESSING DISORDER.
Maybe next time you feel like being a judgy mc-judgy pants to that mum at the supermarket who is holding back the tears, consider how SHE feels. And maybe that he child is not “being naughty” or “needing a good smack”.