Recently/Surgery

I’m a bad blogger.
I don’t post even though I’ve got things running through my head to post about.
Mostly I don’t post because I know my mum and my MIL read and they probably don’t need/want to know about my sex life (Hi guys!)
Or because I think that the ramblings in my head aren’t really something I think I should waste your time with.
But I guess if you’re like me and you’re procrastinating doing whatever it is that sent you to the internet in the first place, 3 minutes worth of reading internet dribble is 3 minutes more procrastinating.

I’m having surgery in 1 week 2 days from now.?
And I am fucking packing it.
I am scared and excited at the same time.
And I’m not sure how many of you out there have anxiety, but to my brain, anxiety and excitement kind of feel the same with the heart and the buzzing.
So my body is all FUCK WHATS WRONG WHERE ARE WE RUNNING OR ARE WE FIGHTING WHERE?!?!!?

And I came of my blood pressure meds.
So I’m stressing that the anxious excitement is making my blood pressure bad.
And the stressing makes it worse.

I’m a giant ball of nerves who has been distracting herself with whatever food I can shove in my mouth because food.
Not even good food.

And for that I feel terrible.
Chocolate now = instaheadache.
You’d think that would stop me, right? Apparently not.
Musksticks = feeling sick. Guess who feels sick. (Not right now because I put my foot down because GEEZ JESS DRAW A LINE)

So I’m counting down until next Wednesday.
And I’m having almost an entire week away from the kids, which I’m not going to lie is nice.

I have to try and get a full night’s sleep before then.

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