Things You Won’t Think of Before Getting a Boob Job

There are things I thought I had considered but didn’t really. There were things I hadn’t considered at all.
So I thought I’d write them down for you.
Not to scare you, because honestly I’m so glad I got them done.
The things I should have thought more about:
1. Food. I made food for the week I was away. I can’t cook. It hurts to lift the frying pan. I can’t put things in the microwave because you’re not allowed to lift your arms above head height. I can’t reach the high bowls, mugs. The coffee was housed in a higher cupboard. The kettle was too heavy at the awkward angle.
A MOTHER WHO CAN’T HAVE HER COFFEE
2. Driving. I knew I wouldn’t be able to drive for a weekish.
I have a manual. I’m 10 days post op now and I’m deciding to still not drive. I have and it hurts.

Things I didn’t think about at all:
* cleaning. You can’t. You can’t scrub pots. You can’t vacuum, wipe down tables – fucking sucks. I know it sounds like heaven but you have a 2yo and a 4yo running around shit gets dirty. Very dirty. I’m not going to lie I have actually put the vacuum cleaner between my legs (think the classic image of witch riding a broom except if the broom bit was at the front) and I squeezed my legs tight and walked around like that to attempt some form of vacuuming.
* groceries.  Nope. Trolleys are too heavy and awkward. You can’t carry the bags.
* going out in public with children who know you’re physically diminished. Ohmygod. Just don’t.  You can’t run. You can’t confine them to a trolley because the trolley is too heavy. You can’t (gently) drag them back to you because your arms aren’t strong enough. Unless you’re ready to bribe with juice and donuts I recommend you stay at home.
*you can’t pick your children up. This has hit me on more than one level. My children know I cannot pick them up to put them in their room or remove them from a situation they are in that they shouldn’t be. I have never had them test their limits so much. But the big one is I can’t pick them up to snuggle them. To carry their sleepy bodies to bed. To comfort them. I’m certain my children are acting out so much because they just want so much for me to pick them up and hold them.

The last thing I didn’t expect is how useless I feel. Not cooking or cleaning or driving – sounds amazing right? But it’s not. TD comes home and does everything and I feel in the way and hopeless and I don’t like it – I’m not that kind of person. I can’t wait to be able to be independent again.

Overall I am definitely not regretting it. But I probably would have planned it better had I known – which is why I’m telling you 😉

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