That’s how I feel right now.
I am so over my children it is not funny.
They are testing every fucking boundary and I am not dealing with it very well at all.
Lola more so than Dex and I guess that’s an almost three year old thing but it’s not fun or funny.

I feel like I can’t do anything with them, nothing is ever done without an argument and I feel like I’m turning into a parent I don’t want to be because they just won’t.fucking.listen.
It’s harder at the moment because of my surgery I can’t pick her up.
I can’t physically put her anywhere.
Or remove her from a situation.
I can’t hold onto her to stop her running away or touching things she shouldn’t.

She’s not having a birthday party as of tonight because of how she’s behaving and I was looking forward to it.

I miss friends.
No one just drop in and visits.
I’m feeling sorry for myself and wondering if people even like my company because I feel I’m always the one trying to hang out with people.

I’m probably just overreacting because I feel useless at the moment.
And I don’t fit in my workplace.
I don’t do anything outside children.

I’m just in a hole.


One thought on “Isolated

  1. I feel you, I’ve been there before & find myself falling into that same funk very easily.
    I always feel like I’m making the effort to catch up with friends, always being the organiser. But I’ve come to realise I just have to suck it up & do it because I have fun when I’m with them & I do notice putting in the effort does come back later on.
    Some people are lucky & they’re just ppl magnets which means work is easy & social catch ups a plenty. But unfortunately we can’t all be that lucky.
    I hope the kids get easier, this mothering thing is not all fun & games it’s hard fucking work with no respect from the kids as well!
    I hope for your sake especially being limited after the surgery they get better. Try & get some you time this week even if it is just 15mins with a cuppa. You deserve it & you need it. (Sorry for never commenting before & then you get this giant one your post just resonated with me big time!)

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