Isolated

That’s how I feel right now.
I am so over my children it is not funny.
They are testing every fucking boundary and I am not dealing with it very well at all.
Lola more so than Dex and I guess that’s an almost three year old thing but it’s not fun or funny.

I feel like I can’t do anything with them, nothing is ever done without an argument and I feel like I’m turning into a parent I don’t want to be because they just won’t.fucking.listen.
It’s harder at the moment because of my surgery I can’t pick her up.
I can’t physically put her anywhere.
Or remove her from a situation.
I can’t hold onto her to stop her running away or touching things she shouldn’t.

She’s not having a birthday party as of tonight because of how she’s behaving and I was looking forward to it.

I miss friends.
No one just drop in and visits.
I’m feeling sorry for myself and wondering if people even like my company because I feel I’m always the one trying to hang out with people.

I’m probably just overreacting because I feel useless at the moment.
And I don’t fit in my workplace.
I don’t do anything outside children.

I’m just in a hole.

Advertisements

One thought on “Isolated

  1. I feel you, I’ve been there before & find myself falling into that same funk very easily.
    I always feel like I’m making the effort to catch up with friends, always being the organiser. But I’ve come to realise I just have to suck it up & do it because I have fun when I’m with them & I do notice putting in the effort does come back later on.
    Some people are lucky & they’re just ppl magnets which means work is easy & social catch ups a plenty. But unfortunately we can’t all be that lucky.
    I hope the kids get easier, this mothering thing is not all fun & games it’s hard fucking work with no respect from the kids as well!
    I hope for your sake especially being limited after the surgery they get better. Try & get some you time this week even if it is just 15mins with a cuppa. You deserve it & you need it. (Sorry for never commenting before & then you get this giant one your post just resonated with me big time!)

Show me it's not just my Mum that reads my blog... Comment please?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s